Strange Just Got Stranger
by Jet556
Summary: Things have gotten stranger. A second prank, a wall around the school, a club obsessed mad man! Has it ever! For a friend of Lee Ping and a new student at A. Nigma High named Basil Hagen, things have just not only gotten stranger but also more weird, wild and wonderful: the stuff of which adventure is made!
1. Chapter 1

**Welcome everyone. Back to mainstream fan fics now! Enjoy the start of this new one. **

**Save the Rainforest Dance**

It was a good day. Everyone was at the Save the Rainforest Dance. Lee was dancing with Tina, Cam was Dancing with Brandy, Holger was dancing with Greta and Biffy was dancing with Kimmie. All was right again in the world!

Two people who weren't dancing were Basil Hagen and his girlfriend Cherie Burlyn. Why? Well, Cherie kept insisting they dance but Basil just kept saying "No."

"I look like a complete idiot when I dance." Basil's statement caused Cherie to look less than happy. In fact she seemed to be quite a bit angry.

"What's the point of going to a dance if we aren't going to dance?"

"Great question, next question!"

And then Mrs. Ping arrived on the scene with a question for all present. "Okay, who's the wise guy who trapped me in crystal?"

Trapped in crystal? When did that happen? Must have happened when Basil was saving Cherie from the insane Quentin Berkhart. Whoever it was that trapped Mrs. Ping in a crystal Basil was going to buy an ice tea!

Biffy went hiding and so it was that Basil knew whom he'd be buying an ice tea. Thank goodness it was Biffy because Basil wouldn't want to be buying the likes of Chaz, Brad or Dick an ice tea for trapping a math teacher in crystal. Basil hated math.

Cherie tapped Basil on the shoulder and pointed at Cam and Brandy dancing. "Don't they look so cute dancing together?"

Basil rolled his eyes. Was this really going to be their first fight? He couldn't dance! He looked like a complete idiot!

Then Basil looked past Cam and Brandy and saw Brad and Dick on the stage. "What are Brainless and his weasel up to?" Basil walked over to the stage just as Brad walked off stage. Something was up.

And then the prank happened! Again apparently! Basil missed the first one so it seemed the universe was throwing a second one so he knew what he had missed.

Or that Pompous, Obnoxious, Spoiled Brat, Momma's Boy of a Baboon Brad Von Chilstein had just done something impossibly stupid.

There was screaming, Lee opened the door and everyone stared at him. Must have been how the first prank went down.

Something that Basil knew for a fact didn't happen was Brad in a harness jumping from the rafters accompanied with action music. "Von Chilstein to the rescue!" Thankfully, Brad ended up crashing into a wall. He then slid down the wall onto the floor.

The sight of Brad crashing into a wall caused Basil to grin. Karma at work again!

"Dude gets expelled and he still pranks us!" Basil couldn't believe what he had heard Cam say. Cam believed Lee pranked them a second time. Unless he knew Lee didn't do this prank and was just going along with what everyone else thought to save face. The latter sounded better, sort of.

It was at this point that Basil took his flat cap off. It was ruined! The prank had ruined it! Brad would pay for this! That flat cap had been the last present Basil's dad had given him before he died!

Basil walked over to Brad and threw his ruined flat cap onto his face. Brad removed it and looked up at Basil with eyes that clearly said "Oh crap!"

Brad stuttered for a bit before finally getting his question out. "You wouldn't hit a guy when he's down would ya?"

"I'll make an exception!" And with that, Basil kicked Brad in the side then walked away. Then he came back and took grabbed his flat cap. "You are owe me a new flat cap!" And then he walked away, again.

Basil walked over to the impromptu parade being held for Lee, which had been put to an end with Mrs. Ping scowling at her son. This was not good.

"I… can explain?" How? How could Lee explain this?


	2. Chapter 2

**Welcome back everyone. I'm so sorry that Basil got named in the summary. I try to avoid but I wasn't sure what to put for the summary and somehow his name just ended up in there. Anyway, I'm trying to return Basil to what made him so enjoyable to write: his interactions with other characters. "Stranger in a Strange School" was from what I got from others excellent, so was "Stranger and Stranger" and everything after that seemed to be rather mediocre despite some good reviews so I really want to return Basil to his roots. Enjoy and review.**

**The Monday after the Second Prank**

The weekend had passed, Basil had given his flat cap a funeral, Cam and Holger had come up with some crackerjack plan to keep Lee from going to boarding school in Athabasca and nothing else of any interest had happened.

Monday morning, Basil walked through the halls with Tina. Back when he had been new at A. Nigma, he'd been something of a stick in the mud. Thanks to Lee and Tina he'd gotten better although he'd gone through Hell to become one!

"So how do you feel about Lee being sent to Athabasca?" Poor choice of a conversation starter for Basil! What was he thinking? The answer was that he wasn't. Basil had a way of knowing when a person liked another person, even if he couldn't figure out when a person liked him until he liked someone else. He knew Lee liked Tina and vice versa. He just didn't think that Tina would have been sad that Lee was being sent to Athabasca. So what did she do? Tina gave Basil a look. "What's that look?"

Tina shrugged. "It's a look. If there was a tax on looking we'd all be beggars."

This only caused Basil to roll his eyes. "Don't quote my dad's work to me, Tina. Just because I've finally gotten to reading his books doesn't mean I'm not angry, about him dying. He had no right!"

"'No right?' Basil, your dad had been sick all his life and it was only getting worse for him. Do you really think he'd want to go on suffering?" Tina's question really pierced Basil. He didn't say anything after that and just walked away.

"I'm going to talk to this new principal! Maybe I can convince him to let Lee come back." Basil walked to Barrage's… He walked to the new principal's office. It had been his fault that he chose to suck up to Barrage he ended up becoming his eyes and ears amongst the students. He tried to get out of it with a letter of resignation but Barrage only threatened to expel him. With a new principal that meant he wouldn't have to be their eyes and ears amongst the students. "Goodbye, Barrage. Hello…" And then Basil walked into the office and saw… A weird stick insect like person wearing clogs.

"Ah, Basil Hagen! I am your new principal." This person had a vaguely German accent. And that suit! If it were any brighter it would be the same color as a banana! But the clogs! Why was he wearing clogs? In Basil's experience clogs were uncomfortable things that caused corns! "I am Phil Blompkins, former superintendent now Principal of A. Nigma High!"

"Uh, hi."

"Barrage had quite a bit of paperwork about you. I can't believe he allowed a person with as many offenses as you to be allowed to attend this school! Selling candles! Being chased by birds! Playing jazz music over the intercom from his… From my office!"

Basil swallowed nervously. "Actually, it was just one bird and in my defense that thing was a monster that wanted to claw my eyes out!"

"Silence!" Basil couldn't believe it. He was actually starting to miss Barrage! A few minutes with Blompkins and he already wanted Barrage back! "But it also states that you were his eyes and ears among the students so I guess I'll keep you around for the same reason." What was happening? How was he once again the eyes and ears of a principal of A. Nigma? Then Blompkins handed Basil a pair of clogs. "Here is your regulation footwear, you can be the first student to show the power of clogs!" Basil stared at the clogs. What manner of evil was this? "Now, out! Out! Get to class!"

Blompkins pushed Basil out of the office. This only caused Basil to look quite confused as he walked to class. He then saw a garbage pail and threw the clogs into it.

The more things changed the more they stayed the same.


	3. Chapter 3

**Welcome back everyone. Enjoy and review.**

**Petition Time!**

Basil walked very slowly to class. How slowly? He was walking an inch a step. He needed some time to think.

"Good morning, I'm Tina Kwee." Basil looked up at a television screen. On it was one of his best friends and one of his worst enemies. Tina was the friend, Chaz the enemy.

"And I'm handsome and in more important news, actually is there really anything more important that?" That was it. Basil was going to act now, get Chaz off the news desk for good! He walked over to his locker and got something out of it. A petition he had made but had been putting off getting other students to sign.

Tina let out a sigh. If Basil were working with Chaz he'd sigh too. "Does anyone feel like something weird happened at the dance?" Weird? Since when were things not weird at A. Nigma? "As in strange memory blackouts?"

"Okay, that's boring!" Basil looked at his petition. Only one signature on it: his own. If this didn't work Basil would never try to punch Chaz if he called him "Frankenstein" again. "How about the second big prank? I know who did it and I'll tell you who coming right up on 'Chaz's Corner!' In your face, Tina!" Basil grabbed a pen and closed his locker. He had to act now!

And then Basil heard a familiar voice. "Yeah, who did do that second prank? Lynch?" That was Lee's voice! But wasn't he supposed to be on his way to Athabasca? It was official Basil's hallucinations had gotten worse. He just wasn't seeing strange things now he was hearing voices! "Forget it, gotta focus!" Basil then heard the sound of running footsteps. Footsteps? If he was hearing footsteps then that had to mean Lee really was back!

Basil turned poked his head around the corner where he had heard Lee's voice but he wasn't there. "Just missed him." Basil started towards the newsroom, listening to Tina's conversation with Chaz.

"Seriously, there were these tunnels under the school, I was encased in crystal and Barrage-" Basil believed Tina, even if Chaz wouldn't it. He knew she wasn't crazy. He had seen the tunnels he had seen Bela Legendre's brain stuck inside an eyebot!

"They wanna know who the mastermind behind the latest and great prank is!" Basil already knew whom Chaz was talking about. It was Brad, driven by envy. "Ladies and gentlemen of A. Nigma High…" Chaz wasn't in any danger of qualifying as either of those. "I present the new prank master…" Basil stopped for a second. Should he burst in and rain on Brad's parade or just wait until the interview is over? "Brad Von Chilstein!"

"Seriously? Brad?" There was Lee's voice again! Where was it coming from? Basil looked around. It sounded almost like Lee was right beside him but where was he? He had just passed some hazmats carrying crates when he turned the corner but he hadn't seen Lee anywhere. Unless… Basil looked up at a vent and shrugged. If Lee was in there, he was in there. He then continued onto the newsroom.

"Hi, I'm so glad you brought up how the second prank was so much greater than Lee's lame-o first one. Mine was like the Mona Lisa of pranks… Von Chilstein can top anything!"

Basil rolled his eyes. "Note to self, make a petition for Brad too."

"Brad, question. Since you just admitted on school wide t.v that you did the prank, how do you plan on spending your year of detention? Or I guess since you can top anything, your two year detention?" Tina being cheeky was such a delight. It really did warm Basil's heart to see Brad end up like this.

Brad gave a nervous laugh. "Well, uh… Totally pranked ya, I didn't do the prank! April Fools! Hah! You lame ones are so gullible!"

It was at this point that Basil entered the newsroom. Everyone looked at the clipboard in his hands. Basil only ended up looking at the camera… A news camera, not like the camera used in film club at Xanadu. This meant the whole school had their eyes on him. For someone who had appeared on stage this was a definite problem for him given the size of the theatre he had acted at. The theatre could seat thirty-five people, there must have three times that amount here at A. Nigma High.

Basil opened his mouth to talk… And then he fainted. Tina, Chaz and Brad all walked over to Basil to see if he was hurt. For the most part he was alright! He'd probably just have a headache.

Tina took the clipboard from Basil's hand. On it was a petition to get Chaz expelled. Considering how much of annoyance Chaz was the thought of him being expelled was a most fantastic thought!

So she signed it.

Then Brad saw the petition. Not wanting another prank footage fiasco, he too signed the petition.

Tina took the petition. It was safer in her hands.


	4. Chapter 4

**Welcome back everyone. You've probably noticed that Basil has become less talkative in this story. Well, that's kind of the point. During some of the chapters he'll be observing scenes from the show so there won't be that much talking from him. Also there is a reason I'm so specific with Basil's objections to clogs. Enjoy and review.**

**The Clogs of Fascism**

Seventeen minutes of unconsciousness. It felt more like eighteen. As Basil walked into the cafeteria with a bad of ice on his head in his right hand and the petition to get Chaz expelled in the left. Tina had stayed with him while he was unconscious. She really was a good friend.

Basil's thoughts of how great a friend Tina was were interrupted when he saw… Blompkins standing next to a table with crates filled with clogs in them. There was no way Basil was hallucinating this!

"Okay, kinders! Settle!" Blompkins lightly clapped his hands. There was something seriously wrong about that man and it had nothing to do with what his last name meant. "Say 'Hello' to your new Herr Principal." 'Herr Principal?' Oh, Basil would work that into some sort of insult. "Hello, and gutentag. Now, zhere are three golden rules under my vatch." Basil rolled his eyes, always three. At least they'd be easy to keep track of. "Ready?" Not really, Basil was hardly ready. His head was pounding from hitting the floor. "One!" Why didn't he say something? If he had, Blompkins probably would have ignored Basil so there probably wouldn't have been much of a point. "No fripple frapple!" That wasn't German! That was gibberish! This man was insane! He was mixing English, German and gibberish together! If that didn't spell insane Basil didn't know what did. "Two! No phones!" And with that Blompkins took a girl's phone. Basil knew that girl. He had a crush on her for about a second and then he saw another girl who he had a crush on for a second. "And three! All students must vear clogs!" Basil choked a bit in shock. Clogs? But those wear clogs…. They were uncomfortable and they caused corns!

A few minutes passed. Blompkins handed out clogs to students in a line. Then Stepak, the cameraman, got his and asked. "Ah, clogs? How do you put them on?"

"If you want comfortable feet and no corns, you don't!" muttered Basil. His eyes them stared at the clogs in Stepak's hands. He then stared at Stepak. He should probably get Stepak's signature for the petition, after all when had Chaz ever called Stepak by the correct name? Then again, Stepak was most likely not happy about Basil having stolen the camera that one time. Ask for his signature or not? Basil decided not to ask for Stepak's signature and walked started to walk over towards Cam and Brandy… and Kimmie. He really did owe Kimmie an apology for yelling at her in Irish.

"I thought you were the great El Presidente!" Basil stopped in his tracks. Brandy sounded angry clearly it wasn't a good time to ask for signatures. "Can't you do something? These feet are not touching clogs." No feet should touch clogs, they were uncomfortable and they gave people corns!

"How come when you need something for me you're all over me but you didn't return any of my texts like all weekend long?" Cam's question caused Basil to swallow nervously. Another time then! No way was he getting caught in the middle of a lovers spat while trying to get signatures for a petition to get Chaz expelled.

Walking away, Basil heard some shouting. Those two were definitely in love! Cam and Brandy were like Benedick and Beatrice from "Much Ado About Nothing."

Sitting down at a table, he ended up with a good view of everything going on. Just in time for Cam to walk over to Blompkins. Basil's grey eyes went over to Brandy, Kimmie and the other two glamazons. The lover's spat was over so he could go over and get their signatures.

Stealthily, Basil walked over. He was already a silent walker so it was relatively normal for him.

"Beautiful Brandy… Gorgeous Kimmie…" His eyes then fell upon the other two glamazons. What were there names again? Had he even heard their names? What were their names? "Uh… Lovely ladies!" They were not impressed. "You know I don't like Chaz, I know you don't like Chaz, we all remember the prank footage fiasco and we all know the best way to prevent another one is-"

"Hagen! Vhere are your clogs?" Blompkins' voice cut into him harder than any cruel work ever could! The charismatic, negotiating look on Basil's face vanished and one of fear.

Looking around he saw that Cam and Holger were leaving the cafeteria. That gave Basil an idea!

"Cam! Holger! I want my clogs back!" They both turned to look at Basil. He winked, Cam gave a hidden thumbs' up and Holger smiled. All three were on the same page. And then Basil chased after them.


	5. Chapter 5

**Welcome back everyone. Enjoy and review.**

**The Principal's Lackey**

Once out of earshot, Cam, Holger and Basil stopped running and began to walk at a regular pace. Cam, with his short legs, had been put through the same workout he always went through whenever he had to run laps in gym class.

"You okay, Cam?" Cam just glared at Basil. This resulted in Basil giving a chuckle.

"No… Just text me next time, dude."

"Holger not mind!"

"Yeah, well you have long legs!" Cam's muttering unfortunately went unnoticed. It was time for no more muttering. "Basil, you're the principal's lackey-"

"Is that really what people are calling me?" Cam and Holger both looked awkwardly at Basil. "They are?"

"Some people. Not Lee, me, Holger, Biffy or Tina but other people are. Brandy doesn't call you that and neither does Kimmie."

"Greta no call Balder that either."

Basil started to slow a bit. If they didn't call him the "Principal's Lackey" then who did? "So who does?"

Cam swallowed. "Uh, so how's Cherie?" Basil glared in response. No way was Cam changing the subject like that. Especially since Basil was avoiding Cherie. He did not want to show her how bad a dancer he was. Cam let out a sigh and gave the names. "Chaz, Irwin, Steve, Ed, Brad, Dick and Jenny… Oh, and Toni."

"Of course it would be the people I don't like."

"Yeah, so I was wondering if you can talk Blompkins out of having clogs be, like you know, mandatory."

"You know, Cam, I once tried to convince Barrage to, well, you know…"

Cam sighed. "You failed? How could you fail to convince Barrage to… Oh, right." An awkward second passed. "You'd probably have a better chance of convincing Barrage than Blompkins."

Basil nodded. He completely agreed. "Yeah, never thought I'd miss him."


	6. Chapter 6

**Welcome back everyone. Since it is now October, you can expect Basil to have some freakish hallucinations. Enjoy and review.**

**Confronted by Chaz**

A cleaner had been sent to take Cam and Holger to detention so their dawdling was put to an end. This left Basil alone to think. He could retrieve the clogs he'd been given later.

Leaning against a locker, Basil looked at the petition to get Chaz expelled. Only three signatures… One was his own the others belonged to Tina and Brad. Tina he could rely on, she was one of his best friends here at A. Nigma. As for Brad Basil and him had a terrible relationship but considering he didn't like Chaz either it was a good sign that Brad had signed it.

Crap!

Basil hung his head in stupidity. He had forgotten to get Cam and Holger's signatures.

Then Basil started to hallucinate. The hallway took on a gothic look.

Footsteps. Whose footsteps though? Well, they weren't high heels so Brandy or any of the Glamazons were out of the question. And Basil could never hear Tina coming because of the type of shoe she wore so she was also out. These were clogs so that meant it was…

Chaz! Basil had been expecting Blompkins.

This sure was some hallucination. Chaz had two faces on the same head. If he had two heads, Basil would have made a crack about a two-headed monster rising from the nether world.

"Chaz, you don't look happy…"

"Cut the-" Basil punched Chaz in the jaw. It was a nice feeling to hit Chaz. Whenever Chaz didn't own him a favor, he was usually a jerk towards Basil.

"Don't use that talk with me, Chaz! I had this petition planned a long time… Since the day your first called me 'Frankenstein."

Chaz gave a scowl. With two faces it looked so freakish it was unsettling. Thank goodness this was just a hallucination. "I saw that petition when you…" Basil glared. Chaz immediately just swallowed and changed his sentence. "I saw that petition! You want to get me expelled! A. Nigma loves me! Why would anyone want to get rid of me?"

"Basil!" That was Cherie's voice! Basil turned to see Cherie and to is surprise he had stopped hallucinating. Gone was the gothic look of the hallway and gone was Chaz's two faces.

"So sorry, Chaz but Cherie is calling, we'll talk some other time."


	7. Chapter 7

**Welcome back everyone. Enjoy and review.**

**Foot Suicide **

Basil walked over to Cherie. When it came to the decision of talking to Chaz who wasn't happy about there being a petition to get him expelled, or talking to his girlfriend who wasn't happy about not being able to dance with him at the dance… It was better to take the lesser of two evils. That was Cherie, not that she was evil but she had been badgering Basil about it all weekend. Even when her mom returned and Cherie could go back to her house she was badgering via text messages.

Of course, Cherie had to be standing over near Blompkins' office. If he showed up and didn't see Basil wearing clogs it would be detention time for him for sure! Or worse! The solitary detention room Barrage had built was still there even though Basil had only ended up in it once due to VP Victoria saying something or other about it being against school rules or something. Basil hadn't really been paying attention, he was too focused on the amount of face cream he used as makeup melting off his face exposing his disfigurements to all present: Lee, Tina, Barrage… Actually, it was just those three and it had completely melted off. There was no new vice principal so there would be no one to stand up for Basil if Blompkins were to put him in there, so Basil was seriously screwed!

"Cherie, if this is about us not dancing together at the dance can you just drop it already?"

Cherie just held up a hand. "Already dropped, Basil. I called up Roman and he e-mailed a video of you dancing… It was horrifying! Why didn't you tell me you were such a bad dancer?"

Unbelievable. Basil had told Cherie that whenever he danced he ended up looking like a complete idiot. Hadn't she been listening? Didn't anyone listen to him when he sad he was a bad dancer? Why was it they only believed him when they saw proof of it? That didn't make a lick of sense!

Then came Blompkins! Thank goodness he didn't notice Basil was not wearing clogs! There was still time for him to get those clogs he threw in the trash out and clean them! The things Basil had to do to avoid detention and it would result in uncomfortable feet and corns!

Blompkins opened the door to his office and with a shocked voice cried "What are you doing in here?" Well, saying he was shocked might have been a bit of stretch. "You are, you, you are supposed to be in detention!" Detention? Cam and Holger!

"Uh, well Holger, um… Tell him!" That was certainly Cam. And Holger was most definitely in there!

"We were on secret spy mission for Lee-" The sound of hand clapping over mouth was heard. Basil shook his head while Cherie silently face palmed. It was bad enough hearing this, it would probably be even worse seeing it!

"What my man, Holger was trying to say is we, uh, totally want those clogs, man!" Cam's response caused Basil to frown. Cam and Holger were going to commit foot suicide? Unbelievable. "They are the bomb!" They were the bomb that was dropped on Hiroshima! "So, do you have, like a pair for us with, like, cute little windmills painted on them?" And then Basil joined Cherie in the silent face palming.


	8. Chapter 8

**Welcome back everyone. And so we finish the first episode of season 3 in this chapter. Enjoy and review.**

**Return of the Ping**

Basil and Cherie parted ways. They had come to the conclusion that Lee was back and that, as always, something was up at A. Nigma High. Thus they were going to look for him. Before splitting up, Basil had gotten Cherie to sign the petition to get Chaz expelled. Of course, since Chaz was Cherie's frenemy Basil had to convince her. It hadn't been that hard. All he had to do was ask one simple question.

"What is he more to you? A friend or an enemy?"

And thus Cherie signed the petition, which now had four signatures. Then they parted ways, or rather Cherie walked in one direction to look for Lee. Basil ended up getting sidetracked.

"Vhat is that terrible smell?" Whatever Blompkins was smelling Basil couldn't smell… What was Blompkins smelling?

"Badfitlersystem… or, or something." That was Cam's voice! Why had he jumbled together those first three words? Unless… No, it couldn't be… Could it? Did Cam really have a bad foot odor? "Anyways, its great chilling with you, dude, but we gotta go."

"Vont you join me for warm yak milk? Clogs and the milk of a vile mountain beast, is there anything better?" Basil had an answer for that question: No clogs and the milk of a vile mountain beast! Yak milk was probably the same as the milk one got from the store. After all yaks were a breed of cattle.

"Most delicious!" The sound of Holger taking a cup was heard. Of course, Holger would enjoy it! Him and Blompkins almost spoke the same lingo except Holger's was less comprehensible! Then Basil heard Holger spitting out the yak milk. Was it sour? Basil had no idea he'd only spit out milk if it were sour. "But perhaps cider of valley flora could be a smidgen better?" That sounded suspicious. "Maybe?" Very suspicious! "Perhaps?" Really suspicious! "Possibly?" Extremely suspicious!

And then it hit Basil! Cam and Holger knew where Lee was and were trying to keep Blompkins from knowing.

"Aha! Lee Ping and Mrs. Ping! Gentlemen, I wish you a good day. I have a certain victory to gloat over! Enjoy the complimentary yak milk and see yourselves out!"

Basil should have tripped Blompkins but he didn't have the heart. So he ended up eavesdropping on the conversation between Mrs. Ping and Blompkins while Lee sat in that clog loving monster's office!

"He was supposed to already be on a plane to his new school!" Clearly Mrs. Ping was not aware that something evil was afoot.

"If you ask me, I say Athabasca isn't far enough!" Nobody even asked Blompkins for his opinion and yet he gave it anyway. What a jerk! "He is the worst kind of student, rotten to the core! Abysmal! He should be punished, he should be banished, he should be taken out with-" A beeping sound came to everyone's ears. As curious as Basil was, he did not turn his head around the corner to see what was causing the beeping. It was best Blompkins did not know he was eavesdropping. Then some weird music and a spinning sound… That windmill on Blompkins' desk? What was going on? Then the sound of paper being ripped was heard. "Excuse me… And he should be welcomed back to school with open arms!"

Basil's jaw dropped just as Lee and Mr.s Ping both exclaimed in unison "What?"

"Boys, will be boys." Blompkins reason was… without logic. Sounded like someone wanted Lee back. But who? Who? "Now, let us let bygones be bygones and have some yak milk to celebrate and tomorrow we come back to school as per normal. Yes?"

"But… You just said… I don't understand!" Mrs. Ping sounded as confused as Basil was, and he wasn't even standing in the room! No doubt Lee was just as confused.

"Eight fifteen don't be late! Now let us take a rain check on the yak milk celebration. I'm way too busy with many principal duties, so good day to you both and see you tomorrow!" Basil's heart sank. He wanted some yak milk! "Oh, and don't forget your regulation footwear."

As soon as Lee and Mrs. Ping came out of Blompkins' office, Basil walked out of the corner he'd been hiding in and walked over to them. "Lee, Mrs. Ping, so nice to see you both!"

Mrs. Ping just gave Basil a look. "Basil, shouldn't you be in class?"

He swallowed nervously. He should have but he wasn't. "Uh, spare?" Lee gave an amused grin. Usually, it had been him and Barrage in this position, not it was his mom and Basil.

"Your mother and I have been in regular contact since that voodoo incident, Basil. Now get to class."

Again Basil swallowed nervously and headed for class. Lee was back and things were back to normal. Sort of.


	9. Chapter 9

**Welcome back everyone. I just spent the entire afternoon reading the first volume of "Maus." I'm so tired after that that a bit of fan fiction writing will be a good way to wake me up. Also since it's the Thanksgiving long weekend you can probably expect the next chapter to be up on Thursday. Enjoy and review, and happy Thanksgiving.**

**Clogspiracy**

Basil kept blinking. He had to stay awake. Watching the cheerleader tryouts simply because his girlfriend was on the cheerleading squad was fine. Having to do it when he only got three hours of sleep was not fine.

He should have gone with Lee and Cam to find out what happened to Barrage! That would have been better than watching… girls holding green porcupines? What a horrible time to hallucinate!

So Lee is unexpelled and suddenly he lets Basil in on things. Did he have trust issues or something? Actually Cam, Holger, Biffy and Tina seemed to have issues when it came to trusting him sometimes. Five different people and it was always him they had issues with trusting. Not so much now but its nice that his friends were a bit more open with him he'd always been open with them.

And then Holger entered the scene to join the cheerleaders. This wouldn't end well.

Basil went from sitting in the bleachers to hiding behind them. If anyone was to get hurt by Holger's acrobatics, it wasn't going to be Basil!

Then Basil heard the music. It was absurd… It was like… Actually, it wasn't half bad… Not even a quarter bad!

The cry of "Get off me" however was bad. All the chatter and then laughter! It was not good for Holger.

Emerging from behind the bleachers, Basil leaned against the wall. This was no way to start a day. Three hours of sleep, watching cheerleader tryouts, a friend humiliated… and still no new flat cap!

"Good morning. A. Nigma—"

"Hi, Chaz Moneranian, Star of your Morning News and 'Chaz's Corner!'" Add yet another thing to the list of no way to start a day. Chaz's annoyance was worse with only three hours of sleep. Basil would really have to get a lot more signatures for his petition. "Who rules? I pretty much totally do! Go ahead, admit it please!" He wasn't sure what he got more of a headache from: Chaz's endless talking or getting hit in the head by a ukulele.

"Yes, we're all very impressed." Tina spoke for everyone when she said that sarcastically. As Basil walked closer to the television screen he got an odd sensation that he was forgetting something. With only three hours of sleep, it was likely. "Now, moving on to our top story—"

"Got it from here, Sleepy Hollow. 'Clogspiracy:' our new principal, school inspector Blompkins has made it mandatory to wear clogs!" What Chaz said caused Basil's eyes to widen! He was forgetting his clogs! He wasn't wearing any clogs! The one thing he should have remembered and he forgot it! "Why? But must students have said 'Nuh uh, no way, not on these feet!" And then there was a video of Zed Point Conasty skateboarding while wearing clogs. It ended the only possible way wearing clogs while doing anything could end: painfully.

Stepak handed Tina a notice and immediately Basil became much more awake. This couldn't be good news. "This just in! Principal Blompkins has ordered students not wearing clogs to… Go to shop class?" Tina was confused, Basil was confused a lot of people were confused. Shop class? So people not wearing clogs were to go to shop class? Sure? Why not? It was the easiest class Basil had ever taken to why not?

Basil would have gone to shop class f it weren't for two reasons. One: It was an order from Blompkins! Two: Chaz's laugh after Tina read the notice told Basil something was up. "Looks like this anchor is doing the news solo me-o! Should have worn the clogs, Tina! Anything is an improvement over what you usually wear. It really is, am I right, people? School issued clogs, being called to shop what could it all mean? Who cares? Not this clog-wearing reporter! Not I!" Basil should have known Chaz would join fascists. And who was he to criticize the shoes Tina wore? Basil kind of liked them, even if it did mean he never heard her coming. And then there were Chaz's two questions. For the first one: if Chaz was ever right Basil would probably stick a burning candle into his right eye. For the second: they had a fascist principal worse than the last whom was most likely insane. For the third: anyone cared who wasn't a fascist pawn.

And then karma kicked in!


	10. Chapter 10

**Welcome back everyone. Yeah, Brandy was there. Watch the episode and listen to the dialogue. Enjoy and review.**

**Slave Labor **

Waiting at the back of the long line into shop class, Basil started to think of a lot of things. Maybe he should have just worn the clogs! So what if he'd end up with corns and uncomfortable feet? Sacrifices had to be made, right?

He was so far from the door he couldn't even hear what was going. Holger was yelling about something, Blompkins was yelling about something… And suddenly there was the sound of a chainsaw.

What was going on in that shopclass?

Then Blompkins was yelling again. And then everyone who could hear what was going on was groaning.

"Okay, you can't just keep us in here making clogs!" Basil had heard Tina well enough. Maybe he just had selective hearing and… Making clogs? Blompkins was going to force them to make clogs? Like hell he would!

And then a bunch of people were cheering. What was going on?

Basil sat next to Cherie and Brandy in a far corner. Listening to Blompkins yell was tiring. Where was Barrage? Why did they get the psycho fascist clog lover for a principal?

"Nein! Nein! Nein! Terrible! Vorst than terrible! No one leaves until you make a perfect pair of clogs!" Blompkins was evil. Going so far as to use slave labor as a punishment! There had to be a rule against this! "Yes! Clogs, the perfect shoe." Basil stuck out his tongue in disgust. The very action caused those looking at him to giggle quietly. "So perfect they don't even need... Laces!" It was at that point Blompkins went into a fit of mad laughter…. And Holger started to fantasize about something or other… And then he started to make clogs… Holger making clogs? When he said he'd never wear them. This was strange but then again when were things at this school not strange? Strange just got stranger!

Leaning towards Tina, Basil grabbed a hammer causing others to grab him by the wrist. "Okay, Tina, now! While he's laughing mad! Go and get help!"

Tina snuck towards the door. She tried to open it! But there was some sort of horrible clog-like thing on the door! If only Blompkins had not caught Tina.

"Ah ha! Nice try but you'll never defeat my clog locks." Blompkins reprimanding of Tina caused Basil to attempt to throw the hammer at the clog-loving fascist. He would have if all those around him had not restrained him. "Vhen you make the perfect pair… Maybe, just maybe you can leave!" Everyone gasped in shock, the usually stoic Basil included!

Basil was really losing his cool! He looked over at Tina as she grabbed a book from a shelf and flipped through it until she found what she was looking for.

"Yeah, pretty sure this breaks every rule in the book!" Tina's statement was the truth! Blompkins could not make slaves out of students! It was uethical!

The fascist wrenched the book from Tina's grasp. "This-This is a clog making factory not some book reading center!"

"Um, actually, it's a school which pretty much qualifies it as a 'book reading center.'" Tina's logical response only pointed to one thing. Their new principal had no respect for school rules.

"Not any more!" Now what did Blompkins have in mind? "Now get to vork! Zhese clogs won't make themselves!"

What happened next were a few minutes of Basil smashing a clog with a hammer! It was rather entertaining for some, horrifying for others. When he was done, Basil saw Tina talking to Holger. He couldn't hear what she was saying to him or what he was saying to her! And then Tina walked away as Holger put on a pair of clogs.

What was going on here? Had the world gone mad?

Not really. Holger had just put on the clogs so he could dance. Nothing out of the ordinary there! Everyone had their eyes on Holger and weren't doing any work. Naturally, this didn't thrill slave-making Blompkins! Upon seeing Holger dancing, Blompkins yelled at him to stop! Basil didn't see that happening. One of the things Holger lived for was dancing!

"Clogs aren't for dancing!" As the fascist and his hazmats walked towards Holger, with who knows what sort of evil intentions, Tina snuck to the pin filled with phones.

Basil nodded with a grin on his face. A perfectly normal grin for him, nothing angry or mad about it at all! "Pretty clever, Tina."

Tina grabbed her phone and then Holger's clogs broke… Then Holger was tackled to the ground by Blompkins' hazmats. Times had changed since Barrage had gone missing on Friday.

"My poor clogs... Smashing clogs is a most heinous offence!" That was Blompkins' opinion? In Basil's opinion it was a joy to see! "And you!" Blompkins pointed at Tina. So much for Tina calling for help! She was forced to hand her phone over to a hazmat. "It seems I have vorkers who absolutely refuse to follow rules!"

"We aren't workers, we're students!" Brave, true words from Tina!

"No, you are trouble!" And insane words from Blompkins! Basil was starting to see a pattern here. "Bring in the… MEGA CLOG!"

Basil's eyes widened. The what? The "mega clog?" What on earth was that?


	11. Chapter 11

**Welcome back everyone. Sorry about the short length but I promise the punchline for the hammer joke is coming. Enjoy and review.**

**The Mega Clog**

"You see what happens to those who break rules Und clogs?" The answer to that question was that they got imprisoned in a giant clog. Upon seeing it Basil had to be reassured he really was seeing this. "It is just like that little old woman who lived in a—"

"Prison?" Holger's answer caused some to raise their eyebrows. How did Holger get that wrong?

"No, a shoe." Well, at least Blompkins, for all his insanity and fascistness, had the correct answer. It was a good thing he didn't say clog considering how obsessed he was with that devil footwear!

Unfortunately, Blompkins answer only caused Holger to get confused. And thus Tina tried to explain. "You know: there was a little old woman who lived in a shoe, she had so many children… I-It's a nursery rhyme."

"But why would woman with so many children live in shoe?" Tina's attempt to explain to Holger only resulted in Holger becoming even more confused. That wasn't surprising. "Wouldn't boot be better? Much bigger, more room for children to play, yah?" On second thought, given Holger's question it probably was surprising.

"Enough!" Blompkins then turned to his clog making slaves. "Everyone, back to work! Zhese clogs von't make zhemselves!" Everyone groaned except for Basil. He just looked at the hammer in his hands, looked over at Tina talking to Holger and then looked at Blompkins.

It was now or never!


	12. Chapter 12

**Welcome back eevryone. Enjoy and review.**

**Hammer Time**

Stealthily Basil followed Blompkins. With a hammer in his hand, Basil was going to knock out this clog obsessed mad man… or accidentally kill him. The hammer was quite large so either could have happened.

The hazmats had not noticed Basil in fact they were right next to Blompkins facing the same direction. So Basil would have to hit Blompkins and then keep running away from the hazmats.

Sounded easy enough.

Basil quickly raised his hand, the one with the hammer in it, to strike Blompkins. He would have hit Blompkins over the head with that hammer if it had not gone flying out of his grip and landed behind the mega-clog.

The sound of wooden hammer hitting wall caused Blompkins and his hazmats to turn and look at Basil. All eyes were on him and there were quite a few people face palming.

"Uh… Heil Blompkins!"

Blompkins was not impressed. "You dare to insult me! To compare me to zhat gooses-stepping moron?"

"Uh, yeah!"

Cherie could be heard saying "Wrong answer, Basil, wrong answer!" in the most worried of voices.

The clog obsessed fascist stared Basil right in the eye. He obviously had something in mind for Basil. "You know vhat I am going to do to you?"

"Put me in the mega-clog?"

Blompkins burst into a fit of evil laughter. That was obviously a 'no.' "Nein, I am going to put you in zhat spot Barrage had built to make you suffer!"

Basil's eyes widened in complete horror! No! Not that! Not solitary detention! And there was no Vice Principal to get Basil out of this.

One of the hazmats grabbed Basil by the neck. Why was it always the neck? He was then carried over to the door, the weird clog doorknob thing was removed and Basil was handed to a hazmat outside the door. And thus Basil was taken to solitary detention.

And so it was that there were no more hazmats outside of the class. The stage was set.


	13. Chapter 13

**Welcome back everyone. We are done with "Clogspiracy" and begin "Misadventures in Babysitting." Be sure to expect plenty of teasing from Basil. Enjoy and review.**

**Free Morning**

"Good morning, I'm—"

"The person that has the distinct pleasure to sitting next to Chaz Moneranian! Hi, that's me!" Well, this was certainly a game changer. Chaz openly pushing Tina out of the way… Chaz clearly had no morals. "Heading to class? Well, don't you bother cause—"

And justice for Tina! Chaz push her, she push right back! "After Principal Blompkins turned the school into his own prison slash clog factory, he was fired!" Justice for Tina, justice for all! This really was a good day. Basil just wished he had seen that clog gunfight between Mrs. Ping and Blompkins, it must have been awesome!"

"Wowzee, that's correct Tina!" Chaz just got back on his chair with no intentions to get back at Tina. However, Chaz was not to be trusted. "Yay, you actually got something right! Kudos!" And with that Tina kicked Chaz, who was sitting on a chair with wheels, and sent him flying off the screen. Chaz could be heard saying "Ow, not again!" This really was turning into a good day.

"And now teachers and the parent council are meeting to discuss whose going to run this school!"

And then Chaz came back. Why couldn't he ever stay down? Nobody liked him! "And the best part, until then, all morning classes are… cancelled!" That was good news. Would have been better to hear it from Tina though. "And what better way to spend a morning than with a call-in show?" Basil could think of a few ways: reading, talking with friends spending time with Cherie. "Just dial in an tell us why you think Chaz is a better reporter than Tina!" Now, Chaz was crossing a line. Nobody treated one of Basil's friends like that and got away with it… Anymore! "Call in and let us know, the lines are now open!"

"Oh, you bet they are!" Basil said to himself. He grabbed the petition to get Chaz expelled from his locker and headed for the newsroom. This was going to be brought to the attention of the entire student body!

He walked to the newsroom. This time there would be no fainting from him! No way!

Cherie came running up to him. She looked tired but really who was Basil to judge when he had gotten one hour of sleep the night before?

"Hey, Basil! Can we talk?"

"You're breaking up with me?"

Cherie blinked. Basil had asked that question with such a calm face. He was obviously joking about it but why did he choose that question of all things? "Uh, no."

"Then it can wait, Cherie. I'm off to get Chaz expelled!" Basil walked past Cherie and continued on to the newsroom. Whatever Cherie wanted to talk about, it could wait. It really could. Or could it? The petition could probably wait. After all they had the morning off so why should Basil spoil everyone's free time with a petition? Basil stopped walking and turned to face Cherie. She was still standing where she had been, watching Basil walk away. "Okay, Cherie, what do you want to talk about?"


	14. Chapter 14

**Welcome back everyone. Enjoy and review.**

**Something Forgotten **

Cherie stood there thinking. She did have something to talk to Basil about but she couldn't remember what it was. It had something to do with having left something at Basil's house but she couldn't remember what it was.

"Cherie, is this going to take all day?"

She swallowed nervously. This was kind of embarrassing. "Uh, I forgot something at your house."

"Well, what is it?"

"I-I can't remember."

Basil rolled his eyes. "Hate it when that happens! Get back to me when you remember." Basil then looked at his petition. "I've got to get Chaz expelled." And with that Basil walked away. Or rather he walked away only to come waling back. "Do you remember where you left, whatever it is you forgot?"

"In your living room."

Basil started to nod. "Okay, where in the living room?"

"On that weird table…"

"The one made of marble and metal?"

"Basil, do you know any other weird tables in your living room?"

There was no way to answer that without seeming like Basil overlooked the obvious. But Basil had seen something on that table. "That book?"

"Yeah, my journal!" Cherie felt so happy to remember what she had forgotten. She then started to glare at Basil. "You didn't read it, did you?"

"No, I'm reading 'Lord of the Silver Bow.' I wouldn't be reading something else while I'm already reading something." Basil's defense was truthful and logical. There was no reason for Cherie to think Basil was like any of her previous boyfriends.

Cherie hugged Basil and have him a kiss on the cheek. "I knew I could trust you!"

Then the parent's council called everyone to the gym. Basil couldn't help but feel there would be a third prank.


	15. Chapter 15

**Welcome back everyone. Enjoy and review.**

**Cassandra**

Basil and Cherie ended up taking seats in the fat right corner at the back of the gym. That way if there was another prank, they could make a quick escape. Cherie looked interested while Basil on the other hand did not.

A woman walked onto the stage where a microphone on a stand was. She picked up the microphone and, predictably, started to speak into it. "My name is Cassandra, I'm head of the parent's council." Cassandra? That was quite a name. In ancient mythology, Cassandra was the name of a daughter of Priam, the last King of Troy. The mythological Cassandra had been given the gift of prophecy by Apollo, the Greco-Roman God of Knowledge. When she offended him, he turned the gift into a curse causing the truth she said to not be believed. Something told Basil that this Cassandra was not too be trusted. "Students, I'm not going to sugarcoat this. Due to some major hiring snafus at HR we are without a current Head of Education. So school's cancelled for the rest of the day." And there was much rejoicing. "On one condition." And then there was much sighing. "We've come up with a small assignment." A Hazmat handed Cassandra a metallic thing in orange. Basil was too far back to tell was it was. "I present to you, your babies!" The thing let out a cry and even from the back Basil and Cherie could see the things eyes turn red.

Even amongst the confused cries of the other students, Basil could hear Holger go "Evil robot baby?" Well, if it was a robot and at this school then there was a good chance it was evil.

"Each baby has been designed to copy an actual child's needs, capable of a wide range of emotions and—" The robot baby coughed up a blue liquid. "Bodily functions that you must clean up of course. Depending on their mood, their eyes either light up red or green. Green is good, red is bad, blinking red is very bad." Basil was sure people could have figured out that last part without Cassandra explaining it to them. "If the doll has spent more time in the 'red' you fail." Again, Basil was sure people could have figured that out without an explanation.

With these things, it was going to be a long day.


	16. Chapter 16

**Welcome back everyone. Enjoy and review.**

**Rufio**

Cassandra went on and Basil was almost falling asleep. He did not want to be here. "Now students, please move to the board in a calm manner, find your partner, get your baby and then you are all free to go!" Naturally, no one went to the board in a calm manner. Everyone ran up, except for Basil and Lee who was just standing at the front row.

The way Basil saw things it was better to just wait for his partner to come to him. If only he hadn't gotten bored after two seconds of waiting. He walked up to the crowd just in time to see a cleaner hand Tina and Chaz a baby.

"A baby? With Tina? Okay, you're joking, right? I'd rather eat my own face! Which would be delicious!" The very thought of Chaz and Tina having a child together was unappealing to Basil also, not just to Tina and Chaz.

Basil walked over to Tina who was holding the robot baby. He was originally going to open with a portmanteau name joke but he thought against it. "You know, Tina, I don't usually play this card since I find it racist but since I'm a quarter Italian do you want me to whack Chaz?"

Tina just shook her head. "Thanks, Basil, but lets not get a black spot on your record just because of my misfortune."

"Okay, then, the China is setting sail. Thank goodness it will be hitting an iceberg!" Tina laughed at Basil's comment. He was right. When this assignment was over, she and Chaz would no longer be partnered together except for the news.

And then Basil saw Irwin and Brandy. This was bizarre it was terrifying! Basil should have known there was an ambitious streak in Irwin! It only got more bizarre and terrifying when they showed to be in some sort of agreement.

Looking in another direction, Basil saw Cam and Holger as partners. He had a good joke for them…. And Biffy as a single father with twins? How did that happen?

Walking over to them, Basil leaned in just as Holger said "You are most yesfinitely the most adorable baby!"

Cam saw Basil. He knew what was coming. He knew what Basil was going to say. "I was hoping you two kids would get together!" And there it was!

"Oh, yeah, well who did you end up with?"

Cherie came up to Basil at the moment holding a robot baby. There was a god in heaven! "Lets name him 'Rufio!'" Or maybe some trickster god was just playing with Basil's mind. Give him his girlfriend but give their baby a ridiculous name!

Basil blinked once. He blinked twice. He blinked a third time. He was not impressed with the name Cherie had chosen. "No."


	17. Chapter 17

**Welcome back everyone. Enjoy and review.**

**Cautious or Paranoid?**

There was a complete look of heartbreak on Cherie's face. "You don't like the name?"

Basil just rolled his eyes. It wasn't the name. It was something else completely. "Cherie, it's a robot! When have robots at this school ever been a good thing?" Basil pointed at a cleaner. "Didn't they go crazy and try to cryztalize people?"

"Uh…" Cherie was confused. Obviously!

"Most yesfinetley!" Holger was right. Unfortunately, the question was rhetorical.

Cam's eyes started to dart around. This was starting to become weird. "Uh, I'm going to go and talk about this mistake." He then exited the gym with Holger following. There was no mistake that Cam and Holger had become partners. Or it was just some joke from Irwin or Beth since they had brought the board in. Either of them could have put Cam and Holger's pictures next to each other. They both had motives. Beth had lost to Cam in the elections for Student President. Irwin's motive was far more petty in comparison. As Lee had explained it to Basil, because Ed was in the Down with Lee Club and didn't like Holger no one in the Down with Lee club like Holger thus Irwin did not like Holger. It must have been some cruel joke from Irwin and Beth. If a guy were to be partnered with another guy for a baby project they'd be fine with it. If that other guy were to be Holger they would not be fine with it.

Basil had not even noticed Cam and Holger leave. Actually, Chaz had left too as had the Glamazons, Brad and an assortment of other people. But nobody cared about Chaz.

"And the eyebots! Weren't they involved in what happened the Monday after the cleaners went mad?"

Tina had walked over and started listening to Basil's ravings about robots at A. Nigma not being a good thing. "Rhetorical?"

"Actually, no since I was unconscious for most of that day." There was nodding from those who were present for that moment. Basil had indeed been unconscious since he had been bashed in the head with a ukulele. Basil's own ukulele ironically. And he had been hit by his own cousin too! But that's another story.

"Yes, they were." Tina's answer was honest and truthful. She remembered that day. She ended up getting an unwanted kiss from Brad and being sent around the school to be hidden from Blompkins.

Cherie ended up rolling her eyes. Basil was being paranoid. "Basil, how much harm can a robot baby be?"

That certainly did shut Basil up. He walked over to a chair and sat down as Chaz announced all the students were to leave the school.


End file.
